crapbrella.

rainy days are unfortunate here at liberal arts college. puddles morph into ponds which morph into lakes, until sad wet students find themselves paying a toll to be ferried to the library. the trees sit in their pools of blood, sad yellow leaves torn from their branches. it's generally miserable. but for me? it's even worse. my umbrella hates me. today par example, it opened taking a chunk of my finger with it. it then conspired with the wind in order to whack me in the head. it also entirely failed in its less than sincere endeavor to keep me dry.

in other news, warm showers make everything a little better. so do slippers.

funny shaped.

apparently my bangs are funny shaped because i ignore them.
just fyi.

yes.

this has been a wonderfully relaxing and completely (i mean in totality) unproductive (in terms of work) break. i have eaten, i have hugged, i have driven, i have snuggled, i have unpacked, i have been lazy. poop.

also, we received a small plastic clock that does a very loud imitation of a grandfather clock every half hour. yup. my mom apparently hid it somewhere undetectable. oh old houses and their nooks and crannies. needless to say, my dad has been wondering aimlessly around the house with a hammer. iduhwannagoback.

woof.

funny but not fun: being attacked by my dog for a stuffed animal
neither fun nor funny: sleeping with a slobber soaked stuffed animal
funny for you?

that i still sleep with a stuffed animal.

check.

i saw a billboard today shouting "lead is bad. get your kids tested!" is there something i should know about children that i don't? do they begin to ooze lead filaments at a certain age? are their snot bubbles lead induced? is this a valid excuse to quit teaching hebrew school?

duck tongue.

being alone in a big house can start to mess with your mind... or at least it brings out some of my weirder proclivities. for example, when i was little my mom showed me that towards the beginning of the end in the life of impatiens, they grow little green buds that pop when filled with seeds. well, i spent twenty minutes today wandering around the house and our garden popping said poppers. i've also been having rather long sessions of intense bouncing and hip wiggling to the bye bye birdie soundtrack. i highly recommend it. also, why would anyone eat duck tongue? and why would they tell me about it? also also, why do i think that all blogs are talking at me specifically? please enlighten me with any answers.

problems.

the issue with sitting home alone with no work in boxers dotted with dancing bears and a shirt from an ivy league engineering school ( i don't know any engineers...) and my feet being kept warm by lovely warm dog, is that i just sit and stare at the computer discovering things that really should have stayed a secret. i was perfectly happy lusting after jewelry that is hundreds of dollars, dreaming that someday i could afford them. however, i have made a very startling and upsetting discovery. this. why are they so pretty!? poop. oh well, $2 plastic rings from wings are fine... for now.

go.

i am home and home means a long stretch of rather busy road stuffed with buses and cars and trucks and buses and cars and occasionally people and more often than not trash. my street is a capillary of this long stretch, trodden into hard concrete from its soft grass underbelly of 300 years ago, leading down down to city hall. my street carries an occasional car and a few polyester clad, brisk paced pedestrians and some bicycles.

the big road though, the one about which you inquire, that one is speckled with a pattern up and down its sides: church, synagogue, church, dentist's office, church, synagogue, synagogue, etc.
today, 2/3 of the synagogues had large banners in hebrew yelling "go phillies". oh me oh my.

train.

today i heard the phrase "old money". it was funny. i was eating a bagel with lox at the time.

in other news, i am home. there is no snow here there are no hebrew school children there are no dining halls
there are episodes of ncis and food that didn't begin it's sad life in a plastic sack or can.

i've decided something... i rather dislike sitting at a train station and having a train speed by me. the screech and grind of the metal gets my ears in a twist and my shoulders get cranky and my toes become irrevocably upset.
it's awful. why can't they just stop and wave and be nice to me?

at least i get a corn beef special tomorrow. corny beef pink with tasty and wet cole slaw crunchy and soft russian dressing, tangy rye. so delicious and impossible to find in lame college towns.

warmth.

last night upon discovering a puffy cardboard box full of cold weather body ornaments, my roommate proceeded to wrap herself in seven scarves and a hat. each scarf had a story.

also, i heard someone on the phone today talking about how something was "swell". yay! i really want "swell" and "ought" to make comebacks. it's about time.

cold.

it is very cold. so cold that i have broken out my fuzzy slippers. they coddle my toes in times of chill so as to avoid frostbite. we had to shut the windows. it was disheartening. the trees appear to be falling apart; losing their hair.

enjoy some tunes.

hope you like.
vapours by islands is especially good.

apologies from michael caine.

sorry for the absence.
my caffeine regulating apparatus was in town. :)

also, i am reading a "choose your own adventure" book about bombs for my international politics class. it's weird to choose between different bombs and death and shit. kinda morbid. whatever happened to "turn to pg. x if you open the can of soda, turn to pg. z if you throw it at a lawn ornament"?

also also, i am very proud of myself for having read (in theory) the entire sunday times.

gahhhhhh.

so i wrote out a potential schematic for my major(s). i have 8 credits in major a. i need 12. how in the name of swiss cheese and studebakers did this happen?

in other news, coffee is a strange substance. when first plied with it by a mischievous young fellow, it had little affect other than that of a runny nose, flushed cheeks, and the occasional hiccup. however, at college, it is a wholly different story. sans fellow, i am left to my own devices regarding caffeine, no hansom regulator in sight. this means i drink coffee every day before class. usually this works out rather well; it keeps me warm, gives my hands something to hold onto other than my bike handle-bars, ensures that my nose is still working. today something went awry. after slowly and with a moderation unusual in my demeanor, is sipped my medium coffee in my first class. not five minutes after swallowing the last dregs, i was as jittery as a school girl left alone with some polly pockets and mountain of "pep". it was a disaster. i'm rather surprised that my professor didn't approach me after class to check my bag for illicits. what am i to do? this is bad. maybe some jay-z will help.

sometimes, again.

day.

lamentations.

today, gourmet the magazine was cancelled. what can be done but mourn this behemoth of taste, monster of ornamentation, staple of all that is yum?

a moment of silence.

did you know?

-there is a boy in my math class who wears either an apron decorated with airplanes and strawberries OR some bauble (a bow tie, necklace, etc.) made entirely out of legos and strung together on fishing line

-i had a terrifying experience in a cab in nyc, don't ask

-a certain ivy league school is recruiting me to join their cheerleading squad

-that same ivy league school has dorms that always smell suspiciously of hot dogs and ketchup and have very thin walls

-there was a monster sized cockroach in the bathroom twitching in my general direction

that's my update.

update.

kiwi bird safe and sound.
also, according to my math professor, he is lorelai from gilmore girls. just, you know, in case you were wondering.