hmm.

apparently if you watch the discovery channel past 10:22 pm, it means that you are destined for an early demise and thus would be interested in a rather long commercial about the benefits of and laws regarding cremation. i just wanted to watch dirty jobs...

also, non-vassar-redhead, i just figured out the house/sherlock holmes connection. it's pretty mind blowing.

oops.

i walked into a wall again today... this appears to be becoming a trend...

the unfortunates of morse crunk.

it is strange to see an old lady and her son harmonizing in the trail mix aisle at whole foods.
it is disconcerting to be almost hit by a car in the parking lot of whole foods, twice.
it splendiferous to have 23.2 inches of snow outside.
it hurts when i move, my back hurts from shoveling.
it is wonderful to use a soft fluffy dog as a heater/pillow.
it is lonely to eat meatloaf by yourself. somehow meatloaf magnifies the lonely-osity.

reasons.

reasons that i shouldn't be permitted to travel alone:
-when people ask me where the subway is, i 2 out of 3 times will panic and run in the opposite direction, 1 out of 3 i will shriek "i don't know" and then run in the opposite direction
-i can't seem to figure out how to get through a subway turnstile with luggage and almost always end up hopping the damn thing
-subways are not my friend. as usually happens on buses, i smack people in the face with my backpack and generally attract the crazies who inhabit these bastions of transportation efficiency
-like with turnstiles, i have difficulties with revolving doors and generally end up getting stuck after smacking my head into the glass

conclusion: anyone wanna be my permanent travel buddy?

apologies apologies.

movies not to watch with your parents: basically anything with hugh grant because it seems rather likely that there will be a rather awkward sex scene, e.g. love actually and four weddings and a funeral

lull.

equations:

stupendously hot heater + ass on cushy bed + boring italian verbs + lullaby-esque vocalist singing about holding eyelids open = a dizzying cocoon of warm air and sleepy...not so good for finals...

hells yeah.

it's stickin bitches. thank you oh benevolent monkey gods.

bien sur.

this is me not writing another paper and hoping and hoping and hoping and hoping and hoping for snow. oh snow monkey gods that reside upon some snow covered hill crest of magic, grant my wish for frozen water crystals that will finally force my strange freckled roommate to wear shoes with toes. i beseech you.

explainer.

i know i've been not so good at writing recently and have already apologized and failed once. i just have no desire to post un-interesting boring details about stress in college life because to tell you the truth dear reader, my audience is essentially me scattered around campus or perhaps slightly farther to satellite campii of liberal arts school in other states. there is my fellow from ivy league school who reads when i instruct him to do so, but that's about it. and of course you, monsieur avec ton pipe.

speaking of my fellow, as i'm sure you know omniscient reader, i own far more ivy league swag than liberal arts school stuff. recently at hebrew school i was sporting one such t-shirt. a rather rambunctious little jock who i'm sure would have taunted and poked and mocked and elbowed me had i been his age asked if i went to said ivy league. i explained that no, in fact, my fellow went there. wee basketball player asked if fellow plays football. no. then what does he play? i looked at the little twerp and said, he's really smart, then i sauntered off. showed him.

beans.

are wonderful. and delicious. and tasty-mundo.

overheard.

"it's incumbent upon humanity" - person